True Heroes

All my life I have daydreamed about a music career on stage. I wanted to bring music to the masses. That dream has certainly varied over the years. In my childhood, I pranced around on top of the furniture singing loudly and pretending to be Dolly Parton and Loretta Lynn. As my piano obsession grew in high school, I dreamed of playing with famous orchestras in large symphony halls. In later years, as my passion for worship grew, I fantasized about being "discovered" and getting to play on tour with famous worship leaders.

In college, I lacked the confidence to pursue a musical career and instead settled on a future as an elementary teacher. I was fortunate to stay home with my children for eight years, and I have now finished 6 years in the classroom. Even as a part of a very noble and worthwhile profession, I cannot make the music inside be quiet. It is a raging fire that desperately tries to claw its way out of my soul.

In recent months, I have been very torn about where exactly my future might lie as far as music goes. I am long past my prime of being "discovered" and don't know that I would even be willing to travel long hard weeks away from my children. Even if I was good enough.....

I have sought God without ceasing, and last night I finally heard Him speak. I don't know exactly where I am going with my future, but I came to an earth shattering discovery. I have waited for years to "be" somebody. I have waited for an entire lifetime to "make it" on stage. But last night I came to understand that perhaps I have my priorities way skewed. Jesus Christ himself came to earth, taught locally, discipled a few friends, and died on a cross. He did not have to be big or famous to fulfill His destiny. I think in America, we overemphasize the importance of selling CDs and being a somebody on the music charts.

Last night as God and I were wrestling, I realized that how many CDs I have or don't have has nothing to do with my value to God. The time and energy I invest in my congregation, however, has infinite worth. Every life that I touch, every person that I walk alongside, those are the things that are going to matter.

I am not belittling the influence of great, famous musicians. I am simply saying that becoming famous can never be the goal. Serving Christ must be the goal. I am also saying that I came to an entirely new understanding of the value of investing a lifetime within the local church. If I never use my musical gifts anywhere else, but I am daily digging into the deepest, darkest, messiest places of my friends' lives - trying to minister to them and help them love Jesus a little more, I think that is of far greater value than having my name up in lights.

I think as musicians, we have forgotten the real heroes in the musical story. The real heroes are the men and women that get up every day, walk into deep relationships, and change messy damaged lives. I admire many professional musicians who are also ministering within a local context, but there are also many that are simply traveling from one gig to the next entertaining the masses. Last night I wondered if maybe it takes a more courage to be a minister than to be famous.

Food for thought for me, anyway.